Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given line graph traces the number of jobs in four different sectors which palyed role in economy of United state in the 1960 and 2020.
Overall, all sectors had moderate number of jobs in all years. However, Manufacturing sector had maximum jobs in 1960, while Agriculture sector had less jobs in 2020. Although, the jobs in every sector increased or decreased time by time.
To start with, Manufacturing sector had 15 million jobs in 1980 and increased gradually and reached 20 million in 1980. Moreover after 1980, it started falling down and till 2020 and reached about 14 million. On the other hand, agriculture sector had lowest amount of jobs started from 5.5 million in 1960 and then it decresed till 2020. In 2020 it remained 2.5 million.
According to the graph, retail department had 5.5 million jobs in, then it increased gradually and become 15 million in 2020. Healthcare department had lowest job in start but then risen gradually. At the end in 2020, it reached 15 million. Therefore every sector had modearte number of jobs that was very important for economy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends for the four sectors. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For instance, you mention the manufacturing sector reached 20 million in 1980, but the graph shows a different trajectory. Additionally, the overview is somewhat vague, using the term 'moderate' which does not accurately describe the significant shifts in employment numbers. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference the data points with the graph and provide a clearer summary of the overall trends, such as the decline in agriculture versus the growth in healthcare and retail.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or misused, such as 'time by time' and 'at the end in 2020'. The progression of ideas is occasionally disjointed, particularly in the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'subsequently') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that flows logically from the previous one.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher score. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'palyed role in economy' and 'retail department' (which should be 'sector'). Spelling errors like 'decresed' and 'modearte' also detract from the quality of the writing. To improve, focus on using more academic collocations and precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'witnessed a downward trend', or 'remained stable'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include missing articles ('in 1960 and 2020'), incorrect verb tenses, and subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'agriculture sector had less jobs'). Punctuation is also inconsistent. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to limit the score. Focus on proofreading for basic errors, particularly with articles and verb forms, and try to incorporate more complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.
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