Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 7.0)
A line chart provides detailed data about the evolution of employement in different work sectors. The study compares the number of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear that from 1960 to 2020 numerous changes occured without a particular trend.
In fact, while some sectors grew in popularity others did not have the same fate. For instance, both retail and healthcare sectors soared in jobs' number during the whole 60 years of the study. Going respectively from about 2 and 6 jobs million jobs to 16. On the other hand, manufacturing and agriculture the both respectively went from 15 and 6 to 13 and 2 million jobs. However, even though the overall evolution from 1960 to 2020 was negative for them it was not always the case for manufacturing. As a matter of fact, from 1960 to 1980 manufacturing sector saw a major increase in employement to reach a peak of 20 million jobs at 1980. Which was quickly followed by a decrease until 2020. For agriculture the evolution was different as numbers dipped from 1960 to 1980 but where constant from 1980 to 2000. That stability in jobs' number was followed with a slight decrease from year to year up until 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the fluctuations in manufacturing and agriculture. You successfully highlight the peak in manufacturing in 1980, which is a key feature. However, the overview is slightly weak; stating there was 'no particular trend' is inaccurate, as clear upward and downward trends are visible. To improve, ensure the overview captures the most significant general movements, such as the divergence between the service-based sectors and the primary/secondary sectors. The data reporting is generally accurate, though some figures could be presented more clearly to avoid confusion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices like 'In fact,' 'On the other hand,' and 'However' to link ideas. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'Which was quickly followed by a decrease,' which is a sentence fragment. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear; for instance, 'the both respectively' is grammatically clunky and disrupts the flow. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that sentences are complete rather than fragmented would help elevate your score in this criterion.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'soared,' 'dipped,' and 'peak.' There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'jobs' number' (should be 'number of jobs') and 'employement' (spelling error). The phrase 'did not have the same fate' is slightly informal for an academic report. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure consistent accuracy in spelling and word order when discussing numerical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'at 1980' (should be 'in 1980') and 'manufacturing and agriculture the both respectively went' (awkward syntax). The sentence 'Which was quickly followed by a decrease...' is a dependent clause punctuated as a full sentence. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and preposition usage. Increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences will help you move toward a higher band score.
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