Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given line graph depicts number of jobs in 4 different ecnomic sector in US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear that manufactur sector have most number of jobs as compared to all other three sectors of job in US.
To begin with, manufacturing industry remain at top for first 4 decades with 15 million of jobs in year 1960 then it reached to its peak value of 20 million jobs in year 1980.After 1980 jobs in manufacturing industry sharply fell down with the figure of 16 million and 14 million by the year 2000 and 2020 respectively.
Probing further, in 1960 both healthcare and retail sector have same number of jobs with figure of 6 million approximately. After that healthcare become least popular with 2 million jobs in 2020 which was same as agriculture sector in starting year. During the period of 40 years retail and agriculture wear sectors in which number of jobs have sharply increased upto 16 million by end of 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, the student claims the manufacturing sector remained at the top for the first four decades, but the graph shows other sectors overtaking it. Furthermore, the description of the healthcare and agriculture sectors is factually incorrect based on the provided visual data. While the response attempts to summarize the information, the misinterpretation of the data points prevents it from fully addressing the task requirements. To improve, ensure that data points are read precisely and that comparisons are based on accurate observations of the trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The response is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'After that', and 'During the period of' are used to guide the reader. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by the factual inaccuracies mentioned in the task achievement section. The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate for a report of this nature, and the overall structure is coherent enough to follow the writer's intended argument despite the data errors.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, using terms like 'depicts', 'economic sector', 'peak value', and 'sharply increased'. However, there are several spelling errors, such as 'ecnomic' and 'manufactur', and some awkward phrasing like 'wear sectors'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on basic descriptors. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on accurate spelling and incorporating more precise academic collocations, such as 'experienced a significant decline' instead of 'sharply fell down'. The errors do not impede communication, but they are noticeable.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('manufacturing sector have', 'healthcare become') and article usage ('in US', 'in starting year'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are missing spaces after periods in some instances. While the meaning is usually clear, the frequency of these minor grammatical slips prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on consistent verb tense usage and article placement would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.
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