Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 7.0)
The line graph below illustrates data about the number of employments in four parts of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, manufacturing recorded the highest number of employments in 1960 with healthcare accounting for the lowest number of jobs, however, healthcare recorded the highest number of jobs in 2020 alongside retail while agriculture accounted for the lowest number of employments in 2020.
In 1960, manufacturing sector recorded 15 million jobs in the united states, accounting for the highest number of employments, in 1980, manufacturing reached its peak, recording 20 million jobs and gradually fell to its lowest under 15 million in 2020.
Healthcare recorded the lowest number of jobs in 1960, which was below 5 million and experienced a significant increase together with retail slightly above 15 million in 2020, accounting for the sector with the highest number of jobs in the US. While agriculture was at 5 million in 1960 but gradually dropped slightly above 0 accounting for the lowest number of jobs in between the four sectors.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends over the 60-year period. You successfully highlighted the peak of manufacturing and the growth of healthcare and retail. However, the overview is slightly cluttered; it would be more effective to focus on the most significant trends (e.g., the decline of manufacturing and agriculture versus the rise of service-based sectors) rather than listing specific data points in the overview paragraph. The data is generally accurate, though ensure you distinguish clearly between the start and end points to provide a more analytical summary of the changes observed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices like 'while' and 'however' to connect ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical. For instance, the transition between the manufacturing data and the healthcare data in the final paragraph feels abrupt. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would improve the progression. Paragraphing is used appropriately, which helps the reader follow the structure of your report.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly, using terms like 'recorded', 'accounting for', and 'gradually fell'. However, there is some repetition of the word 'employments' and 'jobs'. To reach a higher band, try to vary your vocabulary by using synonyms such as 'workforce', 'positions', or 'roles'. Additionally, ensure you use the correct terminology for economic sectors. The word choice is generally accurate, but the range is somewhat limited, which prevents a higher score in this criterion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'number of employments' (employment is usually uncountable in this context) and 'in the united states' (which requires capitalization). Some sentences are slightly run-on, such as the second paragraph, where a semicolon or a full stop would be more appropriate than a comma. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a greater variety of complex grammatical structures to demonstrate higher control.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.