Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph provides information regarding the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

In 1960, the highest jobs were offered in manufacturing sector(15 million). In contrast, the lowest were accounted for healthcare service, approximately 2 million. Noticebly, reail and agriculture sectors were same number of jobs available. In 1980, jobs were rose steadily in manufracturing at 20 million, while declined slightly in agriculture department.

In 2000, the number of jobs in category of retail as well as healthcare were increased dramatically at around 15 million and 11 million respectively. After twenty years, 14 million employment in manufacturing, whereas only 2 million in agriculture sector.

Overall, it can be seen that, the trend was changed in the periods. retail and healthcare sector were reached at the peak level till 2020. However, jobs were declined in agriculture as well as manufacturing department.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main features of the graph, such as the trends in manufacturing and the growth in the retail and healthcare sectors. However, the response lacks a clear overview of the overall trends, which is essential for a high score. While you mention some data points, the comparison between sectors is sometimes unclear, and the description of the trends is occasionally inaccurate (e.g., stating manufacturing declined in 1980 when the graph shows an increase). To improve, ensure you provide a clear summary of the most significant changes and ensure all data points cited are accurate according to the visual information provided.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate, such as the phrase 'Noticebly, reail and agriculture sectors were same number of jobs available'. The transition between sentences and ideas could be smoother. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'subsequently') to connect your ideas more logically and improve the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is somewhat repetitive and lacks precision. There are several spelling errors, such as 'Noticebly', 'reail', and 'manufracturing', which distract the reader. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased' and 'declined'. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surged', 'plummeted', or 'remained stable'. Additionally, ensure you proofread your work to eliminate simple spelling mistakes that could have been avoided.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'jobs were rose steadily' is grammatically incorrect (should be 'jobs rose steadily'), and 'retail and healthcare sector were reached at the peak' is awkward phrasing. There are also issues with article usage and subject-verb agreement throughout the text. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and verb tenses. Practising the correct use of passive voice for describing data trends would also be highly beneficial for this type of task.

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