Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the information regarding per portion of jobs in different sectors manufacturing , retail , agriculture and healthcare. The data analyse from 1960 to 2020.

To commence with , in USA fraction of manufacturing in 1960 stable at the top of graph and touch the zenith point in 1980 moreover in 2000it slightly decreased and reached at 16% after that in 2020 decline 5%more. Additionally, percentage of retail began from 6% in 1960 and increased faster and touch the 15% i. 2000 buy it shows slightly reduce in next year .

However , ratio of agriculture in USA shows downfalls starts from 6% and touch the downside of line graph . Per portion of healthcare began from lowest and touch the highest point of graph in 2020. It shows the great difference in health care sector .

Overall , maximum percentage in USA in healthcare and retail sector whether minimum ration shows by agriculture field .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview, though the reporting of data is inconsistent and lacks precision. For example, stating that manufacturing 'touched the zenith point in 1980' is vague without specific figures. The overview at the end is a positive feature, but the description of trends is often inaccurate or confusing, such as the claim that retail 'increased faster' without clear comparative data. To improve, ensure that specific data points are accurately cited from the graph and that trends are described with more clarity and logical flow.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'To commence with' and 'buy it shows' (likely a typo for 'but'). The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between sectors. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the transition between sentences lacks the sophistication required for higher bands. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help create a more fluid and logical argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'per portion of jobs' instead of 'percentage of jobs' or 'proportion of jobs', and 'downside of line graph' instead of 'lowest point'. Some terms are used incorrectly, such as 'zenith point' and 'downfalls'. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of precision and the presence of spelling errors (e.g., 'i. 2000' for 'in 2000') limit the score. Expanding your range of academic vocabulary and focusing on correct collocations will significantly improve your performance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include missing articles ('in USA'), incorrect verb tenses ('data analyse' instead of 'data is analysed'), and subject-verb agreement errors ('ratio of agriculture... shows downfalls'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas. While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for small errors would be highly beneficial.

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