Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph shows the changing trend of jobs in four sector of US from the year 1920 to 2020.
Overall ,from the four sector ,manufacturing ,retail ,agriculture ,healthcare among all four retail and healthcare relatively shows upward trend which means increase in opportunities as it show steady increase growth. While the manufacturing shows a consistent decrease ray. As the agriculture sector show the stagnant in downward way.
In the year 1960 ,there are 2-3 million job in health care which increase to 5million job by 1980 and in 2 year it almost 2x by 2000 as around 10-11 million job available and by 2026 it went to 15-16 million job. Even the same sustainbilty growth seen in retail sector as in 1960 there were 5-6 million job which increased to 15 million job in 2000 and it will remain stagnant in 2026 also.
Sector like manufacturing show decline in opportunity ,as in 1960 there were 15 million job which increased to 20 million in 1980 but after that there is drastic downfall seen and 2026 it around 13-14 million . Even the agriculture sector show the decline in trend ,as 1960 around 6 million job which decline to 3-4 million in both 1980 to 2000 and by 2020 the number falls to around 2 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For example, you state the graph begins in 1920, but the prompt specifies 1960. You also mention 2026 as a data point, which is not present on the graph. While you attempt to report key features, the misreading of the timeline and the inclusion of non-existent data points hinder the accuracy of your summary. To improve, ensure you carefully verify the axis labels and data points before writing.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'While the manufacturing shows a consistent decrease ray' and 'Even the same sustainbilty growth seen in retail'. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, and the referencing is occasionally unclear. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'conversely', 'in contrast', 'furthermore') and ensure that your sentences flow logically from one to the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely on repetitive phrasing such as 'show the' and 'number of job'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'consistent decrease ray' and 'stagnant in downward way'. These errors occasionally make the text difficult to follow. To improve, try to incorporate more specific vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'remained stable', and ensure you are using nouns and adjectives correctly in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'there are 2-3 million job'), missing articles, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'it almost 2x by 2000'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with irregular spacing around commas. While these errors do not completely prevent communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for pluralisation and verb tense consistency would significantly improve your score.
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