Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given line graph illustrates the number of jobs in different four sectors of the economy in Australia from 1960 to 2020.
After analysing the given line graph, it depicts that jobs for manufacturing was initially at 15 millions then it increased upto 20 millions in 1980 after that it sharply decreased till the last given year. While jobs for healthcare was rose constantly from approximately 3 millions to about 15 millions in given time.
turning to the remaining information into consideration, it shows that in 1960, both retail and agriculture at same position nearly 5 millions, whereas jobs for retail showed increasing trend that was about 15 millions in last year. In contrast, agriculture show opposite trend.
Overall, it can be clearly seen that jobs for manufacturing initially was maximum, after the passage of time it decline and minimum job for agriculture sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. However, there are two significant issues: first, the response is under the 150-word minimum, which limits the depth of analysis. Second, there is a factual error in the introduction; you identified the country as 'Australia' when the prompt clearly states 'US'. While the key trends are identified, the lack of sufficient length and the misidentification of the subject matter prevent a higher score. To improve, ensure you meet the word count and double-check the data provided in the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a summary. The use of cohesive devices such as 'While', 'turning to', and 'In contrast' helps to guide the reader through the data. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel slightly forced. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the overall progression could be smoother if the comparisons between sectors were more integrated rather than listed sequentially. Improving the variety of linking words will help achieve a higher band.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to describe trends (e.g., 'sharply decreased', 'increasing trend'). However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'jobs for manufacturing was initially at 15 millions' (should be '15 million') and 'jobs for healthcare was rose' (should be 'rose'). There is limited use of less common vocabulary, and some phrasing is repetitive. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology for describing data trends and ensure correct pluralisation of units.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the clarity of the writing. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('jobs for manufacturing was', 'agriculture show opposite trend') and incorrect verb forms ('healthcare was rose'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focusing on basic subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage is essential for improvement.
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