Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The given line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four categories of the economy in United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it can be seen that in manufacturing sector was popular throughout the period which later decreased during the final year. Morever, figures for both retail and healthcare peaked until the final year. on the other hand, agriculture had the lowest number of jobs till the given period.

with regards to the number of employment in manufacturing, it began with 15 million in initial year which peaked at 20 million in 1980 and later drastically decreased till 2020. Besides that the number of occupations in agriculture was just above the 5 million which later decreased in 1980 and remained stable till the final year.

On the other hand, the figure for healthcare and retail was below 5 million and just above the 5 million which peaked throughout the period and reached at the same level of just above the 15 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have successfully identified the main features of the graph, such as the trends for manufacturing and the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the response lacks precision in reporting data. For instance, you mention '15 million' for manufacturing in the initial year, but the graph shows it closer to 17-18 million. Additionally, the description of the agriculture sector is slightly inaccurate regarding the 1980 data point. To improve, ensure you carefully read the axes and plot points to provide more accurate data reporting. The overview is present but could be more clearly integrated to highlight the most significant trends across the four sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organised into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices like 'Overall', 'Morever', and 'On the other hand' to link ideas. However, there are some issues with mechanical cohesion and referencing. For example, 'the given period' is used vaguely, and some transitions feel slightly repetitive. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the flow between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring clear pronoun references would help elevate the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'categories', 'employment', 'occupations', and 'remained stable'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'peaked until the final year' (a peak is a point, not a duration) and 'reached at the same level' (the preposition 'at' is unnecessary). There are also minor spelling errors like 'Morever'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that your word choices are contextually appropriate for describing statistical trends.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('in manufacturing sector', 'in United States') and prepositions ('reached at the same level'). Some sentences are slightly awkward, such as 'it began with 15 million in initial year'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are noticeable and occur throughout the text. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, the correct use of articles, and ensuring that your sentence structures are grammatically sound.

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