Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line chart illustrates the information about number of jobs in four different departments of the economy in the US over the period from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, The number of jobs in agriculture sector showed a clear downward trend over the period. In addition, manufacturing field showed a fall despite one rose in the beginning. Furthermore, retail and healthcare sectors are the highest job provider was recorded at the end of the period, while the lowest job provider occurred at the beginning.
The manufacturing sector grew steadily from 15 in 1960 to 20 in 1980.
this upward trend discontinue, with the figure reaching 13 in 2020. The agriculture sector decline regularly from 6 in 1960 to 2 in 2020.
The retail departments experienced overall growth from 6 in 1960 to 16 in 2020. Same trend showed in the healthcare sector rose overall from 2 in 1960 to 16 in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in agriculture and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the overview is slightly disjointed and contains some inaccuracies in the description of the data (e.g., stating the manufacturing sector rose in the beginning when it actually grew over two decades). While the key features are highlighted, the analysis lacks a more sophisticated comparison between the sectors. The report is sufficient to meet the requirements of the task, but it would benefit from a more precise summary of the data points and a clearer distinction between the initial and final states of the economy.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In addition', 'Furthermore', and 'while', though some transitions feel a bit mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be improved. For instance, the second body paragraph starts with a sentence fragment ('this upward trend discontinue'), which disrupts the flow. Overall, the information is presented in a way that is easy to follow, but the use of cohesive devices is somewhat basic and occasionally repetitive.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends using terms like 'downward trend', 'grew steadily', and 'experienced overall growth'. However, the range is somewhat limited and there are instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'departments' instead of 'sectors' and 'job provider' instead of 'employment sector'. There are also minor errors in word form, such as 'discontinue' instead of 'discontinued' and 'decline' instead of 'declined'. To reach a higher band, the student should incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary related to data trends and economic terminology.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('agriculture sector decline regularly'), tense inconsistencies ('this upward trend discontinue'), and missing articles ('in agriculture sector'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure is often repetitive. While the meaning is usually clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on verb tenses and consistent sentence construction would significantly improve the quality of the writing.
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