Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the knowledge about the digit of position in Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, healthcare sectors of the wealth in the us between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the Manufacturing in four sector in 1960 is 15 millions and slightly increase to 1980 as well as suddenly decrease after 1980 to 2020 that approximately 12 millions. also, Retail jobs in 1960 that is approximately 6 to suddenly rose to 2020 that similar to the healthcare.

Secondly, Healthcare in 1960 is approximately 3 millions that is rose in 1980 is 5 millions and suddenly increase after 1980 that similar to Retail that is approximately 16 millions. Agriculture is the lowest in overall four sector that is suddenly decrease in 1980 that approximately 4 millions and maintain throughtout the year .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the ability to fully develop the response. While you have identified the main sectors and provided some data points, the analysis is superficial. You have not fully highlighted the key trends or made sufficient comparisons between the sectors. For instance, the description of the trends is repetitive and lacks the necessary detail to reach a higher band. To improve, ensure you provide a clear overview of the main trends and support your points with more precise data, while ensuring you meet the length requirement to allow for a comprehensive summary.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by the lack of cohesive devices. You use basic transitions like 'Overall' and 'Secondly', but the internal structure of the sentences is often disjointed. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as when you mention 'that similar to the healthcare' without clearly linking the subjects. To improve, use a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'in contrast', 'meanwhile', 'subsequently') to connect your ideas more fluidly. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and that the progression of information is logical and easy for the reader to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You use phrases like 'suddenly increase' and 'approximately' multiple times, which reduces the sophistication of your writing. There are also errors in word choice, such as 'digit of position' instead of 'number of jobs' and 'sectors of the wealth' instead of 'sectors of the economy'. These inaccuracies occasionally impede the clarity of your message. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp decline', and ensure you use terms accurately in their correct context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that affect readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Manufacturing... is 15 millions'), incorrect verb tenses, and awkward sentence structures (e.g., 'that is rose in 1980'). The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with some errors in basic grammar. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring correct verb forms and pluralisation. Incorporating a mix of complex sentences—such as using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions—would also help demonstrate a better command of grammatical range.

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