Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line chart illustrates the information about number of jobs in four different departments of the economy in the US over the period from 1960 to 2020. Overall, The number of jobs in agriculture sector showed a clear downward trend over the period. In addition, manufacturing field showed a fall despite one rose in the beginning. Furthermore, retail and healthcare sectors are the highest job provider was recorded at the end of the period, while the lowest job provider occurred at the beginning. The manufacturing sector grew steadily from 15 in 1960 to 20 in 1980. this upward trend discontinue, with the figure reaching 13 in 2020. The agriculture sector decline regularly from 6 in 1960 to 2 in 2020. The retail departments experienced overall growth from 6 in 1960 to 16 in 2020. Same trend showed in the healthcare sector rose overall from 2 in 1960 to 16 in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in agriculture and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the overview is slightly confusing; stating that the highest job providers were recorded at the end of the period is accurate, but the phrasing regarding the lowest providers is unclear. The data points are generally accurate, though the description of the manufacturing sector's peak is slightly imprecise. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview clearly contrasts the overall trends (e.g., the shift from primary/secondary sectors to service-based sectors) rather than just listing individual movements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The response is organised into a logical sequence, moving from an introduction to an overview and then to specific details. However, the paragraphing is insufficient; the entire body of the response is contained within one paragraph, which hinders the flow. While cohesive devices like 'In addition', 'Furthermore', and 'while' are used, they are sometimes used mechanically. The transition between the overview and the specific data points is abrupt. Improving the use of paragraph breaks and varying the cohesive devices would significantly enhance the readability and logical progression of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to describe trends such as 'downward trend', 'grew steadily', and 'experienced overall growth'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'departments of the economy' (sectors is more appropriate) and 'this upward trend discontinue' (should be 'discontinued'). The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, relying on basic verbs to describe changes. To improve, the student should incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained constant'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('agriculture sector decline' instead of 'declined') and tense inconsistencies ('this upward trend discontinue' instead of 'discontinued'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing capital letters at the start of sentences and incorrect usage of commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall clarity of the writing. Focusing on verb tenses and basic sentence construction will help improve accuracy.
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