Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 7.0)
The line chart illustrates the changes in number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. These sectors are classified as Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare.
Overall, Manufacturing sector has been observed as the most prioritized job sector until 2000, but experienced a drop later. Retail and Healthcare industries have been increasing their demand. In contrast, Agriculture industry is to be found as the least preferable for jobs in 2000.
Manufacturing sector was most popular in 1960 with around 15 million jobs, it enhanced more jobs with 20 million in 1980 but suddenly experienced a dramatic decline with around 17 million and around 13 million jobs in 2000 and 2020 respectively. Agriculture sector was the second in lead during 1960 with 6 million jobs approximately, but it experienced a consistent drop offering around 3.5 million jobs in 1980 and 2000, eventually lowering its demand with 2 million jobs in 2020.
Both Retail and Healthcare sectors are observed to gradually optimizing their jobs. Initially, Retail was sideways with Agriculture with 6 million during 1960, then it paced with 10 million jobs in 1980 and 15 million in 2000, ending as most popular with around 16 million jobs in 2020. Ultimately, Healthcare also took a gradual upgrade in its position from being least popular in 1980 with 3 million jobs to enhancing its path with 5 million and 11 million in 1980 and 200 respectively, emerging as most popular with 16 million jobs in 2020, sideways with Retail sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the shift in popularity from Manufacturing to Retail and Healthcare. However, there are some inaccuracies in your data reporting. For instance, you mention Healthcare had 3 million jobs in 1980 and 5 million in 1980, which is a repetition error, and the data points for 2000 are mislabeled as '200'. Despite these minor data-handling slips, the overall summary is effective and meets the requirements of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The response is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Initially', and 'Ultimately' to guide the reader through the trends. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the declining sectors from the growing ones. While some transitions feel slightly mechanical, the progression of ideas is clear throughout the text. The referencing is generally clear, though the minor confusion in the final paragraph regarding the years slightly disrupts the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'prioritized', 'dramatic decline', and 'gradually optimizing'. There are some instances of awkward word choice, such as 'enhanced more jobs' or 'sideways with', which are not standard collocations in this context. However, these errors do not impede communication. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations to describe trends, such as 'experienced a downward trend' instead of 'lowering its demand'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you have good control over basic grammar, there are several errors in tense and preposition usage, such as 'Agriculture industry is to be found' and 'sideways with Retail sector'. Some sentences are slightly clunky, such as 'Retail was sideways with Agriculture'. Punctuation is generally accurate, but there are occasional slips in subject-verb agreement. The errors present do not cause significant difficulty for the reader, but they do limit the score to the 6.0 range.
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