Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the facts about number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, in US retail and healthcare sectors showing upward trends throughout the period. whereas, manufacturing behaving declined after 1980. Moreover, agriculture declined throughout the period of given timeline.

As return to retail and healthcare sectors, graph shows that jobs in increased over the years, approximately 6 million people was in retail sector then rising to peak in 2000 and remain almost same till 2020.Moreover, healthcare sector also followed the retail sector and significantly touch the peak of 15 million jobs. O the other hand, manufacturing sector stand at 15 million jobs in 1960 and steadily showed upward trend till1980 with 20 million jobs but drastically declined till 2020 round about 13 million. Lastly, in agriculture sector jobs remain stable and lowest jobs were in this sector over the period.

The line graph retail and healthcare fast growing sectors, while agriculture and manufacturing sectors declined throughout the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is slightly disjointed, and some data points are imprecise or lack clarity, such as the description of the manufacturing sector's peak. While the main features are reported, the comparison between sectors could be more analytical. The summary at the end is somewhat repetitive of the introduction rather than synthesizing the data effectively. To improve, ensure that the overview clearly highlights the most significant differences between the sectors at the start and end of the period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'As return to retail' and 'O the other hand'. The transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear. While there is a logical progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs, the flow is hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of sophisticated linking words. Improving the variety and accuracy of transition signals would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'behaving declined' and 'significantly touch the peak'. The student relies on basic descriptors like 'upward trends' and 'declined' repeatedly. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of more sophisticated collocations or varied terminology limits the score. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plateaued', or 'experienced a sharp contraction'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('people was in retail'), missing articles ('in US retail'), and incorrect preposition usage ('As return to'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods and commas. While the student attempts complex structures, these are often marred by errors. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like article usage and verb tense consistency would help improve the accuracy of the writing.

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