Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given linear graph compares information of job numbers in few sectors of economy in the US from 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing jobs recorded the highest proportion during whole period. While, The Healthcare jobs were found at the lowest rate. However, each number is quite different from the others.

At the outset, an increasing trends was observed in the Retail sites. It started at round 5 % and reached approximately 16%. Overall, there was a dramatic increase over the period. However, An decreasing trends were found in the agriculture sites. Moreover, all the figures remained at the bottom throughout the period.

Following this, in the starting years manufacturing figure was highest, but it plummeted from 2000 to 2020. Nevertheless, In the Healthcare Sector, there was a steady increase from the beginning to the end of the period. All number fluctuated over the timeline.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends, the analysis is somewhat superficial. You mention that manufacturing 'plummeted' and retail saw a 'dramatic increase', but you do not provide enough specific data points from the graph to support these claims effectively. Furthermore, the description of the sectors is slightly confusing; for instance, you label the sectors as 'sites', which is inaccurate. To improve, ensure you include more precise figures and avoid vague descriptions. The overview is present but lacks the necessary detail to fully capture the complexity of the data provided in the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. For example, 'At the outset' is not an appropriate way to begin a body paragraph in a report, and 'Following this' is used loosely. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the logical progression is hindered by the lack of clear comparisons between the sectors. While the paragraphing is present, the internal flow of ideas needs to be more natural and better connected to ensure the reader can follow the comparison of the four sectors without difficulty.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You frequently use the word 'number' or 'figure' without much variation. There are also issues with word choice, such as referring to economic sectors as 'sites' and using 'proportion' when 'number' or 'percentage' would be more accurate. The phrase 'recorded the highest proportion' is not entirely appropriate for the data shown. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a downward trend', and ensure that these terms are used in the correct context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with articles ('an increasing trends', 'an decreasing trends'), subject-verb agreement ('All number fluctuated'), and sentence structure. The use of capital letters in the middle of sentences ('While, The Healthcare...') is also incorrect. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often marred by these errors, which can occasionally impede the reader's understanding. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that articles are used correctly. Proofreading for punctuation and capitalization errors will also significantly improve the clarity of your writing.

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