Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us between 1960 and 2020.The four sectors are manufacturing, retail ,agriculture ,healthcare.
To Embark with,it is noticeable that the y axis represents four years 1960,1980,2000,2020 while the x - axis represents the jobs in millions .
Beginning with Manufacturing it rose rapidly in the year 1960 and more than 15% in the year 1980 but rapidly started to decline in the year 2000 while a huge decline in the year 2020.Moving on to Retail its just the opposite of manufacturing it started with quite a less number in the year 1960 but in the year 2000 it reached upto 15% and more than that in the year 2020 . Next we have agriculture it did not work at all in the 4 years it started from 5% in the year and declined a lot and by the end of 2020 it lost its momentum. The last one is the health care it is same to same as the retail sector .started with 5% but went up to 15%
Overall, Retail and health care sector had a lot employment while a lot of unemployment was seen in the agriculture sector and manufacturing
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response identifies the main features of the graph, but the analysis is significantly hampered by inaccurate data interpretation. You incorrectly identify the axes, stating the y-axis represents years and the x-axis represents millions, when the graph clearly shows the reverse. Furthermore, your description of the data trends is imprecise; for example, you describe agriculture as having 'not worked at all,' which is an inaccurate way to interpret a downward trend in employment numbers. While you cover all four sectors, the lack of precision in reporting the figures and the confusion regarding the graph's structure prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on accurately reading the labels and using specific data points to support your observations.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression is weak. The introduction is slightly confusing due to the misidentification of the axes, and the transition between sectors is mechanical. You use some cohesive devices like 'To embark with' (which is non-standard) and 'Moving on to,' but the flow between sentences is often disjointed. The conclusion is very brief and does not effectively synthesise the information presented. To improve, use a wider range of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus that builds upon the previous one.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You rely on basic phrases such as 'rose rapidly,' 'huge decline,' and 'same to same.' There are also issues with word choice, such as 'it did not work at all' to describe a sector's performance. The use of '15%' is also confusing as the graph likely represents millions of jobs rather than percentages. To achieve a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' 'remained stable,' or 'witnessed a downward trend,' and ensure you are using the correct units of measurement provided in the task.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including punctuation issues (e.g., missing spaces after commas, 'us' not being capitalised), and sentence structure problems. For instance, 'it started with quite a less number' is grammatically incorrect. You rely mostly on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors in tense or word order. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, ensure proper capitalisation of proper nouns like 'US,' and work on using articles and prepositions more accurately. Proofreading for basic punctuation and subject-verb agreement would significantly enhance the clarity of your writing.
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