Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the data about the number of work in four various economic sectors in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, all four economy factors faced different fluctuations in the US that's included manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. Jobs are started from millions. Manufacturing factor started from highest point in all sectors, while the lowest sector of jobs is agriculture. Other sectors are fluctuates over the years.

In 1960, Manufacturing sector started from the highest rate 15 million steadily increases in 1980 and slight decreases as the years passed by and remains consistent at 14 million in 2020. Agriculture was started from 6 million and rapidly declines as the years passed and remain in the lowest in all over the range at 3 million in 2020.

In contrast, Retail was started from 5.5 million and steadily grows in the upcoming years ends at 15.5 million in 2020. The major sector of healthcare started from very low point from 3 million and rapidly increase in all years and coincidence is that it also remain constant with retail sector at 15.5 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the convergence of retail and healthcare at 15.5 million. However, the response lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, stating that manufacturing 'remains consistent at 14 million' is slightly inaccurate as the graph shows a decline from a higher peak. Additionally, some descriptions of trends are vague, such as 'other sectors are fluctuates'. To improve, ensure you accurately describe the specific movements (rises, falls, plateaus) and use precise figures to support your claims.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on different sectors. This structure helps the reader follow your analysis. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'as the years passed'. Some transitions between sentences feel abrupt. To reach a higher band, try to vary your linking words and ensure that the progression of ideas within paragraphs is smoother by using more sophisticated referencing and conjunctions to connect related data points.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main points, using terms like 'fluctuations', 'steadily', and 'consistently'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'number of work' instead of 'number of jobs' and 'manufacturing factor' instead of 'manufacturing sector'. Additionally, the phrase 'coincidence is that' is not appropriate for a formal report. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology related to data description and ensure that your word choices are contextually accurate for an academic report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'other sectors are fluctuates'), incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'Jobs are started'), and missing articles. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. To improve, pay closer attention to verb forms and sentence construction. Practicing the use of passive voice for reporting data and ensuring consistent tense usage (past tense for historical data) will significantly enhance your accuracy.

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