Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph compares the number of jobs in US using four different sources of sectors over a period of 40 years.

Overall, it is clear that retail and healthcare sector saw the biggest raise in numbers surpassing manufacturing in 2020 and becoming the most important sectors. In contrast, manufacturing numbers fell sharply after 1980, while agricultre figures declined gradually over the period.

In 1980, manufacturing contributed the 20 milions in jobs, which was almost double the numbers of retail and and healthcare. Over the following 40 years, however, manufacturing jobs figures fell by approximately 13 millions jobs, whereas retail and healthcare experienced dominant growth after 1980 and soar to the nearly same figures at 16 millions exceeded manufacturing in 2020.

Agriculture accounted for 6 millions jobs in 1960 and declined slightly to roughly 3 millions in 1980 and continue to dropped gradually to 2 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the growth in retail/healthcare and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the task achievement score. While the key features are selected and reported, the under-length nature of the essay means that the development of the information is slightly restricted. To improve, ensure that all data points are fully elaborated upon to meet the length requirement and provide a more comprehensive analysis of the comparative data provided in the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is clear, moving from general trends to specific data points. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'however', and 'whereas' are used effectively to link ideas. Paragraphing is appropriate, and the information is presented in a coherent manner. To reach a higher band, ensure that the transition between sentences is even smoother and avoid minor mechanical errors in referencing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, with attempts at topic-specific language such as 'surpassing', 'declined gradually', and 'dominant growth'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and form, such as 'biggest raise' (should be 'increase') and 'sources of sectors' (which is redundant). Spelling errors like 'agricultre' and 'milions' also detract from the overall quality. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology and ensuring correct spelling and word forms throughout the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'manufacturing contributed the 20 milions in jobs' (incorrect article and pluralization) and 'continue to dropped' (incorrect verb tense). While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and the proper use of articles. Proofreading for basic grammatical slips would also be highly beneficial.

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