Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 7.0)

The bar graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare in the US from 1960 to 2020. Overall, it is evident that manufacturing and healthcare experienced an upward trend throughtout the period, whereas retail and agriculture saw a downward trend. In 1960, number of jobs in healthcare sector stood at around 3 millions, while retail recorded considerably higher approximately 5 millions. By 2000, healthcare gradaully increased to about 12 millions, before peaking at 15 million in 2020. Similarly, retail dramatically climbed to about 15 millions in 2000, before slightly inclining to nearly 16 millions in the final year. By contrast, number of jobs in manufacturing was 15 millions in 1960, whereas agriculture recorded considerably lower at 7 millions. By 1980, manufacturing peaked at 20 millions, before declining gradually to around 13 millions in 2020. Meanwhile, number of jobs in agriculture fell to nearly 4 millions in 1980. After that, it remained stable till 2000, before slightly decreasing to 3 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response effectively identifies the main trends and provides relevant data points for all four sectors. You have successfully highlighted the key features, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. The overview is clear and accurately reflects the data. To reach a higher band, ensure that all comparisons are precise; for instance, the overview states that retail saw a downward trend, but the data shows it actually increased significantly from 1960 to 2020, which contradicts your summary. Accuracy in reporting data is essential for Task Achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'similarly', 'by contrast', and 'meanwhile' to link ideas effectively. However, the progression of ideas within the second body paragraph is slightly mechanical. The referencing is generally clear, though the flow could be improved by varying the sentence structure more significantly to avoid repetitive phrasing like 'number of jobs in...'. Overall, the structure is easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trend', 'downward trend', 'peaking', and 'remained stable'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'slightly inclining' (which is not standard usage) and the unnecessary pluralization of 'millions' when preceded by a specific number (e.g., '15 million'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for the higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical slips, particularly with article usage (e.g., 'number of jobs in healthcare sector' should be 'the healthcare sector') and the incorrect use of plural forms for units of measurement. While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication. To improve, focus on consistent article usage and ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, especially when dealing with statistical data.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.