Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four industries of the US’s economy, namely manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, retail and healthcare trends tended to be consistently increasing throughout the 60-year period. Whereas, both manufacturing and agriculture faced a downward trend.
In 1980, manufacturing reached its highest peak at 20 million jobs, jumping over 5 million jobs from its beginning. Retail increased roughly 2 times from its start, accounting for 10 million jobs. Healthcare had a slight increase and fixed its position at 5 million jobs. On the other hand, agriculture was the one that had a minor decline among the four industries, dropping from around 6 million to below 5 million jobs.
In 2000, the manufacturing trend began to decline from 20 million jobs to approximately 18 million jobs. Both retail and healthcare sectors significantly increased, jumping above their previous levels to around 5 million jobs. The healthcare sector steadily stayed at the same point.
By 2020, retail and agriculture had risen and surpassed manufacturing, accounting for around 16 million jobs.
Manufacturing continuously declined, reached their lowest point at under 15 million jobs, but still higher than the healthcare sector. The healthcare sector touched its lowest level and consistently remained below 5 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For example, you state that manufacturing reached its peak in 1980 at 20 million, but the graph shows the peak occurred earlier, and the figures for 2000 and 2020 are inconsistent with the visual data. While you identify the main features (the rise of retail/healthcare and the decline of manufacturing/agriculture), the misinterpretation of the data points hinders the accuracy of the summary. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference the axes with the data points before writing.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, moving from an overview to specific time periods. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'Whereas', 'On the other hand', and 'By 2020' are used to guide the reader. However, the progression within paragraphs is sometimes confusing due to the data inaccuracies mentioned above. The referencing is generally clear, though the transition between the 2000 and 2020 data points feels slightly abrupt. Overall, the structure is functional and supports the development of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'consistently increasing', 'downward trend', 'surpassed', and 'minor decline'. There are some minor issues with word choice, such as 'fixed its position' and 'the manufacturing trend began to decline', which sound slightly unnatural in this context. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, it lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. Expanding your repertoire of reporting verbs and adverbs would enhance the quality of your analysis.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'manufacturing... reached their lowest point' (subject-verb agreement error, as manufacturing is singular) and 'retail and healthcare trends tended to be consistently increasing' (slightly awkward phrasing). Punctuation is generally accurate, and these errors do not impede communication. To reach a higher band, focus on ensuring subject-verb agreement and refining complex sentence structures to ensure they are error-free.
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