Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The provided line graph depicts the information about the employment in Manufacturing, Healthcare, Retail and Agriculture in US from 1960 to 2020, The data was compiled in millions.

Overall, it can be seen that in 1960 the highest employed workers in Manufactuirng sector and lowest Heathcare whereas, in the ending years Agriculture was the least employed sector and highest was Retail as well as Healthcare.

Afteranalysing, the data it can be clearly observed that Manufacturing industry begin with producing 15 millions job sin 1960 an iin 1980 it rose ABOUT 5 millions however afterwards it declined significanlty in 2020 it came around 12 millions. The significant change can be seen in Retail company it started with approximately 6 millions in the year 2000 it reached 15 millions.

Further, Agriculture also commence with Retail but ,over the period it declined gradually till 2020 it came roughly 3 millions. Whilst, Healthcare also growed throughout the period in initial years it was nearly at 2 millions till the 2020 it increased moderately and reached at the level of Retail company

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the shift in the highest and lowest employment sectors. However, the report lacks precision in some areas; for instance, stating that Manufacturing 'came around 12 millions' is vague, and the description of the Retail sector's growth is slightly inaccurate based on the visual data. To improve, ensure that you report specific figures more accurately and avoid generalizations that do not align with the graph. Overall, you have addressed the task requirements well, but more attention to detail in data reporting would elevate the response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'After analysing', and 'Whilst' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and punctuation errors, such as the comma splice in the first paragraph and the run-on sentence structure in the second paragraph. The transition between sentences could be smoother to improve the overall progression of ideas. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence is clearly connected to the previous one would help achieve a higher band score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have used a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'declined significantly', 'rose', and 'increased moderately'. However, there are several spelling errors ('Manufactuirng', 'Heathcare', 'significanlty', 'job sin') and some awkward word choices, such as 'Retail company' (the graph refers to sectors, not companies) and 'growed' (which is grammatically incorrect). To improve, focus on using precise terminology related to economic sectors and ensure you use the correct past tense forms of verbs. Proofreading for spelling and word-form errors will significantly enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'begin' instead of 'began', 'growed' instead of 'grew'), missing articles, and punctuation errors. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent use of past tense when describing historical data. Practicing the construction of complex sentences with accurate punctuation will also help you demonstrate better control over your grammar.

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