Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph represents how many number of jobs in different sectors like Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing jobs are in larger number initially, retail and agriculture are started with same population but healthcare and retail are getting equal at end of the period while agriculture jobs are decreased constanntly placed in last place.

Manufacturing is with 15 millions jobs rose to 20 million in the year 1980. Some sudden changes fall in job count to nearly 13 millions at end of the year by crossing retail and healthcare. Agriculture and retail jobs are begins with 6 million but both are developed in opposite direction in jobs while agriculture maintained constant jobs(3 millions) from 1980 to 2020 ends with less vaccencies.

Retail jobs initially doubled around 10 million jobs in 1980 followed by 15 million in 2000 finally meet healthcare reached peak stage at end of the period with 16 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in agriculture and the growth in healthcare. However, the overview is somewhat confusingly phrased, and the data reporting is occasionally inaccurate or difficult to follow. For instance, the statement that manufacturing and retail started with the same population is not clearly supported by the graph. To improve, ensure that the overview highlights the most significant trends clearly and that the data points cited are precise and easy for the reader to verify against the visual information provided.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as 'Manufacturing is with 15 millions jobs'. The progression of ideas between sentences is sometimes disjointed, making it difficult to track the narrative of the trends. Using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'subsequently') would help improve the flow and logical connection between the different sectors and time periods.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several errors in word choice and form, such as 'vaccencies' instead of 'vacancies' and 'constanntly' (spelling error). The phrasing 'meet healthcare reached peak stage' is unnatural. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'experienced a downward trend', or 'surpassed', rather than repeating simple verbs like 'rose' or 'developed'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('manufacturing jobs are in larger number', 'agriculture and retail jobs are begins') and incorrect preposition usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

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