Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this bar graph we can clearly seen the four sectors of economy like manufacturing, retail , agriculture and healthcare from the the year of 1960 to 2020 there is a millions of job at that time in all the four sectors but if we have seen at here clearly so the top ranking sector is manufacturing which is about 15 to 20 millions of people get the job and made the economy better and the least one is the agriculture one which is almost about 5 millions of the people from the year of 1960 to 2020 and the other two sectors retail and healthcare are also the good ones two upgrade or enhance the economy for almost about the average of 3 millions to 15 millions last that also make impact the economy in the US much better between 1960 to 2020 but the best and high ranking sector is the manufacturing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response attempts to address the task but fails to provide a clear summary of the main features or trends. The description is highly repetitive and lacks a logical structure, failing to distinguish between the data points effectively. The information provided is vague, using phrases like 'about 15 to 20 millions' and 'good ones', which do not accurately reflect the data in the graph. There is no clear overview or comparison of the changes over the 60-year period. To improve, you must identify the key trends (e.g., which sectors grew and which declined) rather than listing general observations. The response lacks the analytical depth required for an Academic Task 1 report.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response consists of a single, long, run-on sentence, which makes it very difficult to follow. There is a lack of paragraphing and a complete absence of cohesive devices to link ideas logically. The progression of information is disjointed, as the writer jumps between sectors without a clear plan. To reach a higher band, you must use full stops to separate ideas into distinct sentences and employ linking words (e.g., 'however', 'in contrast', 'furthermore') to guide the reader through the data. The current structure is mechanical and lacks the necessary flow for a formal report.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'good ones', 'made the economy better', and 'high ranking' are informal and imprecise for an academic report. There are also errors in word formation and collocation, such as 'there is a millions of job' and 'made impact the economy'. To improve, you should use more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'witnessed a significant increase', or 'declined steadily'. Expanding your range of vocabulary to include more academic collocations will significantly improve the quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The grammar is weak, characterized by a lack of sentence boundaries and frequent errors in subject-verb agreement and article usage. For example, 'we can clearly seen' should be 'we can clearly see', and 'there is a millions of job' is grammatically incorrect. The entire response is essentially one long, run-on sentence, which indicates a lack of control over complex structures. To improve, focus on writing shorter, grammatically correct sentences before attempting more complex ones. Pay close attention to basic verb tenses and pluralization, as these errors occur throughout the text and impede clarity.

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