Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 7.0)
The diagram illustrates the data about the quantity of jobs in four areas of the economy in the USA from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, retail and healthcare sector employed the most individuals and depicted the increasing trend as well. while agriculture sector displayed the downward trend and provided the least number of jobs in the America. Manufacturing sector first increased and then showed declining trend in terms of number of jobs.
In detail, manufacturing had most jobs in 1960. It had 15 millions jobs in 1960, which then rose to 20 million in 1980 and drop down to 14 million in 2020. On the other hand, retail and agriculture sector had 6 million employees in 1960 but both sector went in the opposite directions. Workers in retail went up sharply to 16 million in 2020. In contrast, figures of jobs in agriculture climbed down to 2 million in 2020.
Furthermore, healthcare sector had only 2 million jobs in 1960 but its numbers increased dramatically to 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5
The response covers all key features of the graph, including the overall trends and specific data points for the four sectors. The overview is clear and highlights the main differences between the growing sectors (retail and healthcare) and the declining ones (agriculture and manufacturing). However, the description of the manufacturing sector is slightly inaccurate; the graph shows a peak around 1980 followed by a decline, but the student's claim that it had the 'most jobs in 1960' is not fully supported by the visual data, which shows manufacturing and agriculture starting at similar levels. Despite this minor inaccuracy, the main features are well-selected and reported.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is clear, moving from general trends to specific data points. Cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand', 'In contrast', and 'Furthermore' are used effectively to link ideas. However, the use of articles is occasionally inconsistent (e.g., 'in the America', 'healthcare sector'), and some sentences are slightly disjointed. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the overview from the detailed analysis, which helps the reader follow the information easily.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at using topic-specific language like 'downward trend', 'declining trend', and 'increased dramatically'. However, there are some repetitive word choices and minor collocation errors, such as 'climbed down' (which is not standard English) and 'quantity of jobs' (where 'number' would be more natural). The range is sufficient to convey the meaning clearly, but it lacks the sophistication required for a higher band score. Improving the variety of verbs used to describe trends would enhance the quality of the writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the agriculture sector', 'the America') and pluralization ('15 millions jobs'). Some verb tense usage is slightly awkward, such as 'both sector went in the opposite directions'. Despite these errors, the grammar does not impede communication, and the student demonstrates a reasonable control over basic sentence construction. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on article usage and ensuring subject-verb agreement.
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