Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line chart represents the amount of job vacancies in four deferent sectors of the economy in US between the year 1960 to 2020.
It is clear from the graph that retail department was constantly increased since 2020 with over 15 millions jobs, while agriculture sector provided the same opportunity in 1960 but, it decreased in next decade and remain stable until 2000 but again fall in next 20 years.
On the other side, manufacturing section had the highest chance to got jobs compared with others as it had 15 millions hires in 1960 and reached in pick point in next dilemma and then start reduced significantly. however, healthcare department provided same amount of vacancies as retail sector in starting periods but went down in further years and reached lowest numbers in 2020.
Overall, two sectors increased dramatically and others was decreased and all departments provided opportunities around 15 millions except agriculture.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the task by identifying the main features of the graph, such as the trends in the four sectors. However, the analysis is significantly hampered by inaccurate data interpretation. For example, you state the retail sector 'constantly increased since 2020', which is factually incorrect based on the provided graph, and your description of the manufacturing sector's peak is vague ('next dilemma'). While you attempt to compare the sectors, the lack of precision in reporting the figures and the confusion regarding the timeline (e.g., 'since 2020') mean that the information is not fully accurate or well-supported. To improve, ensure you carefully read the axes and labels before drafting your summary.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the other side', 'however', and 'Overall' to signal transitions. However, the logical progression is sometimes disrupted by confusing phrasing and inaccurate references to time. For instance, the transition between the retail and agriculture sectors is somewhat abrupt. The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to track which sector is being discussed at certain points. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring that cohesive devices are used to link ideas logically rather than just as mechanical markers will help raise your score.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but contains several errors in word choice and collocation that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'deferent' (different), 'retail department' (retail sector), 'chance to got jobs' (employment opportunities), and 'pick point' (peak). While you attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'vacancies' and 'sectors', the frequent spelling errors and incorrect word forms limit the precision of your writing. To reach a higher band, focus on using more accurate terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'declined', and ensure you check your spelling of common academic terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('others was decreased'), incorrect verb tenses ('start reduced'), and missing articles ('in US', 'in agriculture sector'). Some sentences are poorly constructed, such as 'manufacturing section had the highest chance to got jobs', which makes the meaning slightly opaque. While the errors do not completely prevent understanding, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. Focusing on basic sentence construction, correct verb forms, and the appropriate use of articles will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.
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