Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The multi-line chart illustrates the information about the figure of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US within the frame of 60 years starting from 1960 to 2020. Units are measured in millions.

Overall, the figure of Manufacturing sector are rose at the start. however, it was significantly plummeted at the end of the period, whereas the other two sector such as, Retail and Healthcare are hovered at the end of the period. Furthermore, in Agriculture sector was gradually dived in 2020.

In contrast, the figure of jobs in Agriculture was dramatically fell to around 0.2 millions in 1980, from 5.2 millions in 1960, whereas in Healthcare jobs was grew to 5 millions in 1980, at the same time to around 0.3 millions.

There was a dramatic increased in Manufacturing jobs to 20 millions in 1980, from 15 millions in 1960, after that it was fell down rapidly to around 12 millions in 2020. The Retail sector was steadily hovered to around 16 millions in 2020 from around 6 millions in 1960.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the rise and fall of Manufacturing and the growth of Retail. However, the overview is slightly confusing due to grammatical errors, and some data points are misreported (e.g., the description of Agriculture in 1980). While the main features are selected, the lack of precision in reporting the data and the unclear overview prevent this from reaching a higher band. The response addresses the prompt but lacks the clarity required for a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the misuse of 'however' and 'furthermore' within the same paragraph. The progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing, making the flow feel disjointed at times. While there is an attempt to use linking words, they are not always used effectively to connect the information logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. The student relies on basic verbs like 'rose', 'fell', and 'grew', and there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'figure of jobs' instead of 'number of jobs' and 'hovered' used incorrectly to describe a trend. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the basic meaning, but it lacks the precision and flexibility needed for a higher band. Some phrases are awkward, which occasionally impedes the reader's understanding.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that affect readability. There are persistent issues with verb tenses and forms, such as 'Manufacturing sector are rose', 'it was significantly plummeted', and 'in Agriculture sector was gradually dived'. These errors are frequent and often involve basic sentence construction. While there is an attempt to use complex structures, they are almost always faulty. The lack of control over basic grammar significantly impacts the overall quality of the writing.

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