Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph shows the information about the amount of jobs in four different (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and healthcare) sectors of the economy in the US between [redacted phone].

Overall, the highest number of jobs in manufacturing department in the year 1980 as compared to other years (1960, 2000 and 2020).

It is surprising to see that there is big differen betwen in the year 1960 to 2000, almost 10 millions jobs in Retail Department. In retail and health care department there are similar amount of jobs people do in the year 2020. The amount of jobs are decreasing from the year 1980 to 2020 in Manufacturing sector.

In the Retail sectore, the number of jobs were increased from the year 1960 to 2020. It is noticeable that, the amount of jobs in agriculture department were same in between two years ([redacted phone]) and after 20 years in 2020 that amount was little bit decreased.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the task by identifying the four sectors and describing some trends. However, the overview is weak; it focuses on a single year rather than highlighting the main overall trends across the period. The data reporting is inconsistent, with some figures mentioned without clear context or accurate interpretation of the graph. For instance, the claim about retail and healthcare having a 'similar amount of jobs' in 2020 is not clearly supported by the visual data. The response lacks a comprehensive summary of the key features, such as the significant rise in retail or the decline in manufacturing, which are essential for a higher band score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and occasionally mechanical (e.g., 'It is noticeable that'). Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between sentences is not always smooth. The logical flow is hindered by the lack of clear comparative language, making it difficult to see the relationship between the different sectors over the 60-year period. More varied linking words are needed to connect the data points effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several spelling errors, such as 'differen', 'betwen', and 'sectore'. The range of vocabulary is limited, relying on repetitive phrasing like 'amount of jobs' and 'department'. While the student attempts to use sector-specific terminology, the lack of sophisticated collocations or varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' restricts the score. To improve, the student should focus on using more academic vocabulary and ensuring accurate spelling of key terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the amount of jobs in manufacturing department in the year 1980', which lacks a verb, and 'the number of jobs were increased', which uses incorrect passive voice. Punctuation is generally functional, but there are issues with article usage and subject-verb agreement throughout the text. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band.

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