Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph illustrates the data of jobs in millions from year 1960 to the year 2020 in four big sectors of the economy in the US including retail, manufacturing, agriculture, and healthcare. However, X-axis indicates the year, whereas on the Y-axis there are number of jobs in millions.

In the year 1960, there were 15 million jobs in the manufacturing sector. However, it shows upward trend in the year 1980, whereas it reached only 12 million till year 2020. In addition, there were 6 million jobs in the year 1960 in retail which increased continuously till the year 2020 and ended with 16 million jobs in the year 2020.

In contrast, there were few jobs in health sector in 1960 with only 3 million jobs. But from the year 1980, it started increasing and reached 16 million in the year 2020. Moreover, the number of jobs in agriculture field were 6 million in 1960, and in the year 1980, there was decline in the number of jobs, and ended with only 2 million jobs in the year 2020.

Overall, the jobs in manufacturing sectors fluctuated, and the retail and healthcare show upward trend, whereas the agriculture shows the declined in the number of jobs over the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides data for the start and end points of the period. However, the overview is somewhat basic and the reporting of data is repetitive, relying heavily on listing figures rather than synthesizing trends. While the main features are identified, the comparison between sectors could be more sophisticated. For instance, noting that healthcare and retail ended at the same level (16 million) would have strengthened the analysis. The response meets the requirements of the task but lacks the analytical depth expected for a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs for the data, and a summary. Cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'In contrast', and 'Moreover' are used to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel forced. The referencing is generally clear, though the structure of the introduction is slightly awkward with the mention of the X and Y axes, which is unnecessary for a summary task. Overall, the progression of information is logical and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends using terms like 'upward trend', 'increased continuously', and 'fluctuated'. However, the range is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are minor errors in word choice, such as 'the agriculture field were' (should be 'was') and 'the declined in the number' (should be 'a decline'). To reach a higher band, the student should incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' and improve precision in describing data points.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the year 1960', 'in health sector') and subject-verb agreement ('the number of jobs... were'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure could be more varied to improve the flow. The errors do not impede communication, but they are noticeable throughout the text, which prevents a higher score in this criterion.

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