Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 7.0)
The given line graph illustrates the number of employment opportunities in four distinct areas of the economy in the United States (US) from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clearly seen that manufacturing accounted for the highest number of the jobs between 1960 and 2000 in the US, whereas healthcare had least number of employments. Surprisingly, the number of jobs in retail and healthcare rose sharply throughout the given period and reached to its peak value at 16 millions by 2020.
To begin with, the figure of manufacturing sector was 15 millions in 1960, before rising to 20 millions in 1980, after that this trend diminished sharply and reached at 13 millions in 2020. In 1960, the number of employments in healthcare industry was almost 2 millions, while these figures rose dramatically and stood at 16 millions in 2020.
Explaining further, the retail and agriculture sectors started from 6 millions jobs simultaneously in 1960, however the figures in retail sector rose dramatically and encountered to 15 millions and 16 millions in 2000 and 2020 respectively, nevertheless the number of jobs in agriculture industry decreased gradually and reached at 2 millions in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5
The response covers all parts of the task and provides a clear overview of the main trends. You successfully identified the key features, such as the decline in manufacturing and the significant growth in healthcare and retail. However, the overview could be more precise; for instance, stating that healthcare had the 'least number of employments' is slightly inaccurate for the start of the period, as agriculture also started low. Additionally, ensure that data points are cited accurately to support your comparisons. Overall, the response is well-structured and addresses the prompt effectively, providing a good summary of the data provided in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'after that', and 'nevertheless' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the use of 'simultaneously' in the final paragraph is a bit awkward in this context. Paragraphing is used appropriately to group related information. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that the progression of ideas flows more naturally between sentences and paragraphs.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'diminished', 'dramatically', and 'employment opportunities'. There are some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'reached at' (should be 'reached') and 'encountered to' (which is not standard usage). While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, these inaccuracies occasionally affect the precision of your writing. To improve, focus on learning the correct prepositions and collocations associated with describing trends and data, such as 'reached a peak of' rather than 'reached to its peak value'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, particularly with verb forms and prepositions, such as 'reached at 13 millions' and 'the figure of manufacturing sector'. There are also minor issues with article usage and pluralization (e.g., '16 millions'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles when discussing numerical data.
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