Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United State between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the highest number of jobs in manufacturing sector started from 15 million and reach at 20 million in 1980. Then it significantly decreased from 1980 to 2020. While, the agriculture sector rapidly decline and remain stabled from 1980 to 2020 without any change.

To commence with, agriculture and retail sector has same number of jobs is around 5 million in 1960, retail show a sharp incline whereas, agriculture sector do decline or comes around 5 million to 3 million in 1980 and maintain this structure throughout 2020.

Furthermore, healthcare is the lowest sector in 1980 is approximately 2 million but it showed a pick up in 1980 at 5 million and reach at 15 million in 2020.

In conclusion, the largest number of jobs given by retail and healthcare sector is 15 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends in the four sectors. However, there are inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that the agriculture sector remained stable from 1980 to 2020, but the graph shows a continued decline. Additionally, the description of the healthcare sector's starting point is imprecise. While you have selected key features, the lack of precision in data interpretation prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that you carefully cross-reference the data points on the axes with your written descriptions to avoid factual errors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or misused, such as 'To commence with' and 'While, the agriculture sector...'. The logical flow between sentences is occasionally interrupted by grammatical errors, making some transitions feel disjointed. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that connects logically to the next.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely on basic verbs like 'show', 'reach', and 'decline'. There are also some awkward word choices, such as 'pick up' instead of 'increase' or 'growth', and 'maintain this structure' which is not the most natural way to describe a trend. To achieve a higher band, try to incorporate more specific vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuate', 'plateau', 'surge', or 'gradual decline', and ensure collocations are used accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. Frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'agriculture and retail sector has', 'retail show') and tense usage (e.g., 'agriculture sector do decline') impede the flow. Additionally, there are issues with articles and prepositions. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors demonstrate a lack of control over complex structures. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly verb forms and pluralisation, will significantly improve your writing.

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