Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrate, the detail about proportion of millions jobs in four sectors of the US economy in 1960 and 2020.

In detail, in 1960 manufacturing sector experienced a considerable growth compared to other job sector, which was reported 15 millions, then it rose to the peak of 20 millions before experienced decrease in 2000 with approximately 16 millions and it further drop to a low of around 13 million in 2020. Moreover, in retail sector jobs initially recorded well above 6 millions and it was gradually increasing to 10 millions in 1980, and in 2000 it was accounted for 15 millions, lastly in 2020 it was recorded near to 16 millions.

In contrast, agricultural jobs in 1960 was approximately 6 millions and it was gently reducing to 3 millions in 1980 and the trend remained same in 2000 with 3 millions respectively and eventually, it slightly decreased to 2 millions in 2020. Notably, the healthcare sector reported the lowest jobs compared to other sectors it was accounted for 2 millions in 1960 and it was gradually escalating to 5 millions. Furthermore, in 1980 it was recorded well above 10 millions and ultimately, it reached to a peak of roughly 15 millions in 2020.

Overall, in the early years manufacturing sector dominated US economy. However, the healthcare sector surpassed the agricultural over the time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends over the period. You successfully highlight the main features, such as the dominance of manufacturing in early years and the growth of the healthcare sector. However, the overview is slightly thin, and some data points are described with minor inaccuracies (e.g., the manufacturing peak). To reach a higher band, ensure the overview clearly synthesizes the most significant trends rather than just listing them. The data is generally well-selected, but ensure precision when reporting figures to avoid misrepresenting the graph's information.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each focusing on specific sectors. You use cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Moreover', and 'Notably' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel repetitive. The referencing is generally clear, but the progression of ideas could be smoother. To improve, try to vary your linking phrases and ensure that the connection between sentences is more fluid rather than relying on a list-like structure for each sector.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'considerable growth', 'escalating', and 'surpassed'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'proportion of millions jobs' and 'the trend remained same'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To achieve a higher score, focus on using more sophisticated collocations and ensuring that your word choices are contextually accurate for describing statistical data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('The line graph illustrate', 'agricultural jobs... was') and article usage ('the manufacturing sector', 'the US economy'). Additionally, there are issues with tense consistency and preposition usage ('reached to a peak'). While these errors rarely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring consistent use of past tenses when describing historical data.

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