Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph compares the data about the various jobs in four fields of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it can be seen that the retail and healthcare sectors demand significantly increased throughout the period. The Manufacturing and agriculture sectors jobs dramatically decreased after two decade.

In 1960, The Manufacturing sector had 15 million jobs; whereas, The Healthcare field had approximately 3 million jobs. The Retail and Agriculture remained the same numbers of jobs, which were noted by around 7 million jobs. In 1980, The Manufacturing sector jobs dramatically rose, which reached 20 million jobs, while The Agriculture sector jobs demand significantly decreased by nearly 3.5 million jobs. The Retail and Healthcare fields jobs dramatically increased by 10 and 5 million respectively.

In 2000, The Manufacture sector had only 16 million jobs, it was reached around 13 million in 2020. The Retail and Healthcare sectors jobs dramatically increased until 2020, which were remain same nearly 16 million. The Agriculture sector steadily decreased by approximately 2 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends in the four sectors. However, there are inaccuracies in the data reporting. For example, you state that retail and healthcare 'remained the same' in 1960, but the graph shows distinct differences. Additionally, the description of the 1980 data for agriculture is confusing, as you mention a decrease of 3.5 million, which is not clearly supported by the visual data. While you provide an overview, the lack of precision in interpreting the figures prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that the data points cited align accurately with the graph provided.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In 1960', 'In 1980', and 'In 2000' to structure the response chronologically. However, the use of linking words is somewhat mechanical, and there are instances where the flow between sentences is disjointed, such as the transition between the 2000 data and the 2020 summary. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence of the report.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'sectors', 'economy', 'dramatically', and 'steadily'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'demand significantly increased' (which is grammatically awkward) and 'it was reached around 13 million'. There is also some repetition of phrases like 'dramatically increased'. To achieve a higher band, try to vary your vocabulary by using synonyms and more precise collocations to describe trends, rather than relying on the same adverbs and verbs throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'The Manufacturing and agriculture sectors jobs dramatically decreased' (missing possessive or preposition), 'which were remain same' (incorrect verb form), and 'The Manufacture sector' (should be 'Manufacturing'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are errors in capitalization and sentence construction. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions when describing data trends.

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