Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
THE LINE GRAPH ILLUSTRATES INFORMATION ABOUT THE NUMBER OF JOBS IN FOUR SECTORS SUCH AS MANUFACTURING, RETAIL, AGRICULTURE, AND HEALTHCARE FOR THE ECONOMY IN THE UNITED STATE FROM 1960 TO 2020.
OVERALL, THE ECONOMY OF MANUFACTURING SECTOR ROSE GRADUALLY THEN DECREASES SIGNIFICANTLY OVER THE YEAR. MOREOVER, RETAIL SECTORE ROSE DRASTICALY THEN STABLE. WHILE THE ECONOMY OF AGRICULTURE SECTOR DECREASED DRAMATICALLY. HEALTHCARE WAS ROSE DRASTICALLY.
MANUFACTURING SECTOR ECONOMY WAS STARTED WITH 15 MILLIONS, ROSE WITH 20 IN 1980. IN YEAR 2000 THAT WAS DECREASED ABOUT 17 MILLIONS AND THEN DECLINED WITH 13 MILLIONS OVER THE YEAR.
REATAIL AND AGRICULTURE FOUNDED AROUND 6 MILLIONS IN 1960. MOREOVER, RETAIL SECTOR WAS INCREASED ABOUT 15 MILLIONS IN 2000, THEN SLIGHTLLY ROSE WITH 16 MILLIONS. WHILE AGRICULTURE DESEASED SIGNIFICANTLY ABOUT 2 MILLIONS IN 2020. THE ECONOMY OF HEALTHCARE SECTORE WAS ROSE ABOUT 5 MILLIONS AND AGAIN INCREASED GRADUALLY AROUND 11 MILLIONS IN 2000. THAT WAS ROSE ABOUT 16 MILLIONS IN THE YEAR 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in agriculture and the growth in healthcare. However, the reporting of data is often inaccurate or confusing. For example, stating that manufacturing 'started with 15 millions' and then 'rose with 20' is unclear, and the description of retail and agriculture both starting at '6 millions' is not supported by the graph. The overview is present but lacks precision in summarizing the most significant changes. To improve, ensure that the data points cited are accurate and that the comparison between sectors is more clearly articulated.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as the repetitive use of 'moreover' and 'while' to start sentences. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the body paragraphs where the transition between sectors feels abrupt. Referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to track which sector is being discussed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would significantly enhance the flow of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'economy of manufacturing sector' (instead of 'employment in the manufacturing sector') and 'founded around 6 millions' (instead of 'stood at 6 million'). The spelling of 'REATAIL' and 'DESEASED' (for decreased) also detracts from the quality. To reach a higher band, focus on using more accurate terminology related to data description and ensure correct spelling and word forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response relies on simple sentence structures and contains frequent grammatical errors. There are consistent issues with verb tenses and forms, such as 'Healthcare was rose' (instead of 'Healthcare rose') and 'that was decreased' (instead of 'it decreased'). Subject-verb agreement is also problematic, for example, 'retail sectore rose... then stable'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction limits the score. Focusing on consistent verb usage and avoiding unnecessary passive constructions would improve clarity and accuracy.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.