Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph shows the economy of US between years of 1960 to 2020 regarding different type of jobs.There are four sectors of the jobs which are mentioned in millions. Overall, the retail and health care sectors had the most upward trend while agricultural jobs seemed low value.

It is quite evident from the line graph that initially in 1960 the lowest job rate was of healthcare sector which was then steadily risingly and in 2020 it was at the peak of its time.The retail jobs had also followed consistent trend in the given period like that of healthcare department about 16 millions.

However, the agricultural department had about 6 million ratio of jobs in 1960 but with the passage of years there was a significant fall from 1980 to 2020. Additionally, the manufacturing sector had greater jobs in 1960 of about 15 millions and in 1980 it experienced a frther incearse of 5 millions but after that it seemed less jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the task by identifying the main trends in the four sectors. You successfully highlight the growth in healthcare and retail, and the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For example, you mention the manufacturing sector experienced an increase but then 'seemed less jobs' without specifying the timeframe or the extent of the decline. To reach a higher band, ensure you provide more precise data points from the graph to support your observations, rather than using vague descriptions like 'low value' or 'at the peak of its time'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, a body paragraph for the growing sectors, and a body paragraph for the declining sectors. You use some cohesive devices such as 'However' and 'Additionally' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by mechanical phrasing and some awkward transitions. For instance, the sentence 'The retail jobs had also followed consistent trend in the given period like that of healthcare department about 16 millions' is slightly disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'sectors', 'upward trend', and 'significant fall'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and minor errors, such as 'lowest job rate' instead of 'lowest number of jobs' and 'frther incearse' (spelling error). The phrase 'low value' is also not the most accurate way to describe a sector with fewer jobs. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations related to data interpretation, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked at', or 'experienced a downward trend'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, including missing articles ('the economy of US'), incorrect prepositions ('rate was of healthcare'), and tense inconsistencies ('was then steadily risingly'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some missing spaces after periods. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage will help improve your accuracy.

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