Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given line graph illustrates an information about the number of employment in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the employment in the manufacturing dominates the other three for over 4 decades in the initial time and the agriculture was lowest in the last 4 decades.

To commence with, in the year 1960, the manufacturing was on the top of the table with 15 million jobs. Next, the retail and the agriculture contribute around 6 million employment each, while the healthcare was at least with approximately 4 million employment.

In addition, after 4 decades, the manufacturing elevated to 17 million approximately. The retail and healthcare hired 15 million and 9 million respectively. Moreover, the agriculture was slightly dropped to 3.5 million approximately. Lastly, the jobs in retail and healthcare was at first with 16 million hiring while manufacturing and agriculture was at third and fourth respectively in year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and contains inaccuracies. For instance, the description of the 2020 data is confusing; the text states retail and healthcare were 'at first' with 16 million, which is not clearly supported by the visual data trends. Additionally, the overview is slightly vague. To improve, ensure that the data points cited are precise and that the comparison between sectors is more clearly articulated throughout the period, rather than just listing figures for two specific years.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. There is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'In addition', and 'Moreover'. However, some of these transitions feel mechanical or slightly unnatural in context. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the referencing is occasionally imprecise, particularly in the final paragraph where the comparison between sectors becomes difficult to follow. Improving the variety and natural flow of linking words would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. There are several awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'the manufacturing was on the top of the table' instead of 'manufacturing was the leading sector', and 'the healthcare was at least' instead of 'the lowest'. The use of 'hiring' as a noun to describe the number of jobs is also inaccurate. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology related to economic trends and data reporting, and ensure collocations are natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('the manufacturing', 'the agriculture'), incorrect verb forms ('the agriculture was slightly dropped'), and subject-verb agreement issues ('the jobs in retail and healthcare was'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent and detract from the clarity of the report. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with articles and verb tenses, will significantly improve the quality of the writing.

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