Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph compares the data about the various jobs in four fields of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it can be seen that the retail and healthcare sectors jobs significantly increased throughout the period. The Manufacturing and agriculture sectors jobs dramatically decreased after two decades.
In 1960, the Manufacturing sector had 15 million jobs; whereas, the Healthcare field had approximately 3 million jobs. The Retail and Agriculture remained the same numbers of jobs, which were noted by around 7 million jobs. In 1980, the Manufacturing sector jobs dramatically rose, which reached 20 million jobs, while the Agriculture sector jobs demand significantly decreased by nearly 3.5 million jobs. The Retail and Healthcare fields jobs dramatically increased by 10 and 5 million respectively.
In 2000, the Manufacturing sector had only 16 million jobs, it was reached around 13 million in 2020. The Retail and Healthcare sectors jobs dramatically increased until 2020, which were remain same nearly 16 million. The Agriculture sector steadily decreased by approximately 2 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, the text claims manufacturing rose to 20 million in 1980, whereas the graph shows it peaking earlier and declining. Additionally, the description of the retail and healthcare sectors as 'remaining the same' at 16 million in 2020 is a misinterpretation of the visual data. While the overview is present, the lack of precision in reporting the figures prevents a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In 1960', 'In 1980', and 'In 2000', which help to sequence the information chronologically. However, the use of linking words is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'which were remain same'. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the internal cohesion within sentences could be improved to ensure smoother transitions between the data points.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, using terms like 'sectors', 'economy', 'dramatically', and 'steadily'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'the Retail and Agriculture remained the same numbers of jobs' and 'it was reached around 13 million'. These errors occasionally make the meaning slightly confusing. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on more precise collocations and ensure that verbs are used correctly in relation to the data being described (e.g., 'the figure reached' rather than 'it was reached').
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and passive/active voice constructions, such as 'which were noted by around 7 million jobs' and 'which were remain same'. Punctuation is generally functional, but the misuse of semicolons and commas in complex sentences impacts the overall accuracy. While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from being considered error-free in the majority of sentences.
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