Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of occupations, measured in millions, in four sectors of economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, jobs related to retails and healthcare rose steadily from 1960 to 2000, in which both sectors reached its highest peak in 2000. Meanwhile, manufacturing and agricultural jobs decreased over the time period, while agriculture accounted for the lowest decrease of jobs in 2000.

In 1960, manufacturing stood for the highest number of occupation at 15 million, which steadily rose at 20 million in 1980. Despite of its initial increase, it gradually decline at approximately 13 million in 2020. Meanhwile, the number of jobs in healthcare was around 2 million in 1980, and grew steadily, reaching its highest peak at just above 15 million at the end of the time period, overtaking manufacturing occupations.

On the other hand, retail and agriculture both started at around 5 million jobs in 1980. Retails job then increase its number into approximately 15 million, tying up with healthcare in 2000. While the number of jobs in agriculture continuously decline at around 2 million at the end of the timeframe.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting when healthcare overtook manufacturing. However, there are some inaccuracies in your data reporting. For instance, you state that manufacturing reached 20 million in 1980, whereas the graph shows it peaking earlier. Additionally, your description of the starting points in 1980 is inconsistent with the graph, which provides data from 1960. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your descriptions with the specific years and values provided in the visual prompt to avoid factual errors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The response is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'Meanwhile', 'Despite of', and 'On the other hand' to link ideas. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as 'in which both sectors reached its highest peak', where the relative pronoun usage is slightly awkward. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of cohesive markers to connect sentences more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'occupations', 'steadily', and 'timeframe'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'manufacturing stood for the highest number' (should be 'accounted for') and 'retails job' (should be 'retail jobs'). You also use 'decline' as a verb where the past tense 'declined' is required. While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on accurate verb forms and pluralization will help improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'Despite of its initial increase, it gradually decline...'. However, there are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('manufacturing... decline' instead of 'declined') and incorrect preposition usage ('Despite of' should be 'Despite' or 'In spite of'). There are also some tense inconsistencies throughout the report. While these errors are noticeable, they do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points. To reach a higher band, work on ensuring consistent verb tenses and correcting basic grammatical slips.

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