Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

# The line graph illustrate the number of jobs, measured in millions, in four sectors of the US economy manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare - between 1996 and 2000.

Overall, manufacturing was the largest employer for most of the period despite declining after 1980 while retail and healthcare experienced steady growth. In contrast, agriculture showed a continuous downward trend and became the smallest employment sector by 2020.

In 1960, manufacturing was at 15 million of employer as we can notice that retail and agriculture was at the same level of jobs with around 6 million. However the healthcare sector was the least with 2 million employer. In contrast to that in 1980, the peak of manufacturing with 20 million jobs Moreover the retail sector was growing with time almost 10 million jobs but agriculture and healthcare was no more them 5 million employer.

In 2000, all four sector sectors were at normal level despite the agriculture with 3 million jobs but manufacturing was top of all four with 16 million jobs. but as we can see retail was almost the same with 15 million jobs. A last healthcare was at 11 million growing each year. In contrast

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, including the overall trends and key data points. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, the introduction states the period is '1996 and 2000', whereas the graph covers 1960 to 2020. Furthermore, the description of the data in the body paragraphs is often imprecise or contradictory, such as claiming 1980 was the peak for manufacturing when the graph shows a different trend. While the main features are identified, the lack of precision in reporting the data and the error in the timeframe significantly impact the task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. Phrases like 'In contrast to that in 1980' and 'A last healthcare' are awkward and do not effectively link ideas. The progression of information is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the final paragraph, which ends abruptly with an incomplete sentence. While there is an attempt at logical sequencing, the lack of control over cohesive devices and the abrupt ending limit the coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are repeated errors in word choice, such as using 'employer' instead of 'employees' or 'employment sector'. Phrases like 'at normal level' and 'no more them' are imprecise and grammatically incorrect. The range of vocabulary is limited, and the student struggles to use appropriate terminology for describing trends (e.g., 'growing with time' instead of 'showed a steady increase'). To improve, the student should focus on using more specific academic vocabulary related to data description.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Subject-verb agreement issues are common, such as 'retail and agriculture was' and 'all four sector sectors were'. Punctuation is also problematic, with several run-on sentences and missing commas. The misuse of prepositions and articles further hinders clarity. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence structure prevents the response from reaching a higher band.

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