Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph illustrates data regarding the amount of employment in the Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare sector of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear that over the 60 years, Healthcare and Retail sectors showed rapid growth, however Agriculture industry and Manufacturing industries moved in downward trajectory.
In 1960, Manufacturing industry was the highest number of jobs available, which was 15 million, while Healthcare sector stood at approximately 2.5 million job, which was the least among all industries. Retail and Agriculture sectors were at the same number of jobs (around 6 million). BY 1980, Manufacturing sector increased dramatically and reached at 20 million jobs, whereas Agriculture division moved a slight decrease and consisted under 4 million jobs.
By 2020, Retail and Healthcare departments displayed gradual growth over a time period and reached at nearly 16 million as well as both industries become the highest sectors. Agriculture sector demonstrated constant jobs from 1980 to 2020, which was lowest category in 2020. However, ma
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the growth in Healthcare and Retail and the decline in Agriculture and Manufacturing. However, the response is incomplete, ending abruptly with 'However, ma'. This prevents a full summary of the final data points and impacts the overall development of the task. While key features are selected, the lack of completion means the final comparison is missing. To improve, ensure you have enough time to complete your final paragraph and proofread the summary to ensure all data points are accurately reflected and the conclusion is fully articulated.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, and there is a logical progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'In 1960', and 'By 2020' are used to guide the reader through the timeline. However, the abrupt ending disrupts the flow of the final paragraph. Referencing is generally clear, though some transitions between sentences feel slightly mechanical. To reach a higher band, ensure that ideas are fully developed within each paragraph and that the conclusion provides a smooth, complete summary of the information presented.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with terms like 'downward trajectory', 'dramatically', and 'gradual growth' used correctly. There are some minor issues with word choice, such as 'amount of employment' instead of 'number of jobs' or 'level of employment', and 'division' used to describe an economic sector. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, but it lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. Focusing on more academic collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing will help improve this score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'Manufacturing industry was the highest number of jobs' (should be 'had the highest number of jobs') and 'consisted under 4 million jobs' (should be 'consisted of under'). Additionally, there are issues with article usage and prepositions, such as 'reached at 20 million' (should be 'reached 20 million'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the overall accuracy of the writing.
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