Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 7.0)
The line graph illustrates data regarding the amount of employment in the Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear that over the 60 years, Healthcare and Retail sectors showed rapid growth, however the Agriculture industry and Manufacturing industries moved to downward trajectory.
In 1960, the Manufacturing industry was the highest number of jobs available, which was 15 million, while the Healthcare sector stood at approximately 2.5 million jobs, which was the least among all industries. Retail and Agriculture sectors were at the same number of jobs (around 6 million). BY 1980, the Manufacturing sector increased dramatically and reached 20 million jobs, whereas the Agriculture division moved to slight decrease and consisted under 4 million jobs.
By 2020, Retail and Healthcare departments displayed gradual growth over a time period and reached to nearly 16 million as well as both industries became the highest sectors. The Agriculture sector demonstrated constant jobs from 1980 to 2020, which was the lowest category in 2020. However, manufacturing industry decreased slowly from 20 millions in 1980 to under 15 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the shift in the highest-performing sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, the report could be improved by being more precise with the data. For instance, stating that the Agriculture sector remained 'constant' from 1980 to 2020 is a slight over-generalization, as there are minor fluctuations visible. Additionally, ensure that your data points are as accurate as possible to fully satisfy the requirements for a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The response is logically organized, with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group the information effectively. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'while', 'whereas', and 'however', to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions could be smoother. For example, the transition between the 1960 data and the 1980 data in the third paragraph feels a bit abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus will help enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'downward trajectory', 'gradual growth', and 'sectors'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'amount of employment' (which is better expressed as 'number of jobs' or 'employment levels') and 'departments' (which is not the most appropriate term for economic sectors). While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, incorporating more precise academic collocations would elevate your writing to a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'the Manufacturing industry was the highest number of jobs' (which should be 'had the highest number of jobs') and 'reached to nearly 16 million' (the verb 'reach' does not take the preposition 'to'). Additionally, there are some minor issues with article usage and pluralization. Despite these errors, they do not impede communication, and you show a reasonable level of control over your sentence construction.
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