Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the data of employments in four distincts categories of the economy in the the US from 1960 to 2020.

overall it can be seen that, both retail and healthcare experienced a upward trend, whereas manufacture and retail showed a decreasing trend. Morever,

manufacturing was at the highest level in beginnig of the period.

In 1960, manfacturing sector had 15 millions of job and sharpy rose and reached at peak with 20 million in 1980. In 2020 it saw moderate decrease which is accounting for around 13 million. In contrast, number of jobs in retail showed a sharp rise 5 millions in 1960 to 15 million in 2000 and at the end of the period reached at around 16 million.

Figure for agriculture was about 6 million in 1960 and saw a moderate fall reached at around 4 millions, which remained almost similar in 2000 before slight decrese in 2020 accounting for arount 3 millions. On the other hand healthcare experienced a sharp rise over the period from 1960 to 2020, accounting for around 3 millions and 16 millions respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For example, you state manufacturing reached 20 million in 1980, but the graph shows it peaking earlier. Furthermore, you mention 'retail' twice in the overview while omitting healthcare, and your description of manufacturing's end-point is inconsistent with the visual data. While the main features are identified, the lack of precision in data interpretation prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that every figure cited is carefully cross-referenced with the graph axes.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'On the other hand', and 'Moreover'. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by mechanical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'In 1960, manfacturing sector had 15 millions of job'. The overview is placed correctly, but the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the overall structure would benefit from more sophisticated linking words to connect the trends more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trend', 'decreasing trend', and 'moderate fall'. However, there are several spelling errors ('manfacturing', 'beginnig', 'decrese', 'arount') and issues with pluralisation ('15 millions of job'). These errors are noticeable but do not impede communication. To reach a higher band, you should focus on more precise collocations and ensure consistent accuracy in spelling and word forms. Avoid repeating the same structures and try to incorporate more varied vocabulary to describe changes in data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('in the the US'), subject-verb agreement, and preposition usage ('reached at peak'). Some sentences are slightly awkward, such as 'which is accounting for around 13 million'. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy and proofreading for small errors like missing articles or incorrect prepositions will significantly improve your score.

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