Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrate, jobs in four sectors regarding wealth in US year 1960 to 2020. All jobs in millions and every 20 year gape in 80 years.

Overall , healthcare started 2 millions and high up every year and stop near 15 millions. Secondly, agriculture and retail both were start from 6 million . However, both were moving opposite direction agriculture was going decline every year and stop at 2 million whereas retail continous increase year by year and end near 16 million . Lastly manufacturing start with 15 millions and 20 year increase after that reduce their accuracy.

In summery , hetalthcare and retail both are increase every year but manufacturing and agriculture were decrease

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the development of the task. While you have identified the main trends for the four sectors, the analysis is quite brief and lacks the necessary detail to fully cover the data provided in the graph. For instance, you mention the starting and ending points but do not provide enough comparative analysis between the sectors over the 60-year period. To improve, ensure you provide a more comprehensive overview and include specific data points to support your descriptions, ensuring you meet the length requirement to allow for full development of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive start. However, the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical (e.g., 'Secondly', 'Lastly'). The progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed, and the lack of clear linking words between sentences makes the flow feel a bit abrupt. To improve, try to use a wider variety of linking phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly, such as 'in contrast to', 'meanwhile', or 'subsequently', and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus that transitions logically to the next.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'increase' and 'decrease'. There are also several errors in word choice and form, such as 'high up' instead of 'increased' or 'rose', and 'gape' instead of 'gap'. The phrasing 'regarding wealth in US' is also imprecise. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a broader range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp decline', and ensure that your word choices are contextually appropriate for an academic report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('The line graph illustrate'), missing articles ('in US'), and incorrect verb tenses ('were start', 'both are increase'). The sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, such as ensuring verbs agree with their subjects and using correct tense forms for reporting past data. Additionally, try to incorporate more complex structures like relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions to demonstrate a wider grammatical range.

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