Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 7.0)
The line graph illustrates data regarding the amount of employment in the Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear that over the 60 years, Healthcare and Retail sectors showed rapid growth, however; the Agriculture and Manufacturing industries moved to downward trajectory.
In 1960, the Manufacturing industry had the highest number of jobs available, which was 15 million, while the Healthcare sector stood at approximately 2.5 million jobs, which was the least among all industries. Retail and Agriculture sectors were at the same number of jobs (around 6 million). By 1980, the Manufacturing sector increased dramatically and reached 20 million jobs, whereas the Agriculture division moved to a slight decrease and consisted of 4 million jobs.
By 2020, Retail and Healthcare departments displayed gradual growth over the time period and reached to nearly 16 million as well as both industries became the highest sectors. The Agriculture sector demonstrated constant jobs from 1980 to 2020, which was the lowest category in 2020. However, the manufacturing industry decreased slowly from 20 million in 1980 to under 15 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response covers all key features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors over the 60-year period. You successfully identified the main trends, such as the growth in Healthcare and Retail and the decline in Agriculture and Manufacturing. However, the overview could be more precise; while you mention 'rapid growth' and 'downward trajectory', linking these to specific sectors more clearly would improve the summary. The data points are generally accurate, though the description of the Manufacturing sector's peak in 1980 is a good inclusion. To reach a higher band, ensure that comparisons between sectors are more explicit throughout the body paragraphs rather than just listing data points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is clear, moving from general trends to specific data points. You use some cohesive devices like 'while', 'whereas', and 'however' to link ideas. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the use of 'as well as' in the final paragraph is a bit awkward in context. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the overall structure helps the reader follow the information easily. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the flow further.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'trajectory', 'dramatically', and 'gradual growth'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'departments' to refer to economic sectors and 'amount of employment' (number of jobs is more natural). Additionally, 'reached to nearly' is a slight collocation error; 'reached nearly' is sufficient. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning clearly, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' would be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical slips, such as 'the Agriculture and Manufacturing industries moved to downward trajectory' (missing an article: 'a downward trajectory') and 'reached to nearly' (unnecessary preposition). Punctuation is generally functional, though the use of a semicolon after 'however' is incorrect; a comma would be more appropriate there. Despite these errors, the meaning is always clear, and the errors do not impede communication. To improve, focus on article usage and ensuring prepositions are used correctly with verbs of movement.
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