Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given graph shows the information about the number of jobs about the four sectors of the economy in the US between the 1920 to 2020.

In the 1920's the manufacturing was dominating in the number of jobs, and healthcare sector was developing.

After 1920's healthcare sector starting booming in the number of jobs , and so the other sectors as well, but except the agriculture.

Agriculture jobs decreased by half, and it was due to the shift of humanity to the industries and agricultural revolution in terms of the machinery.

1980's was the year when the manufacturing sector got reduction in the jobs, and the other sectors continue their progress especially the healthcare.

In the 2000's healthcare sector almost approached the manufacturing in terms of the number of jobs, due to its continue growth.

Eventually, in 2020 the agriculture is quite stable for last 6 decades, and healthcare and retail sector are on the top of the chart in terms of the jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response identifies the main trends, such as the decline in agriculture and the growth of the healthcare sector. However, the task achievement is limited by significant inaccuracies regarding the data provided. The student mentions dates like '1920's', which are not present in the graph (the data starts in 1960). Furthermore, the description of the trends is somewhat vague and lacks specific data points or comparative figures to support the observations. To improve, you should focus on accurately reading the provided timeline and incorporating specific figures (e.g., millions of jobs) to substantiate your descriptions of the trends.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into short paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'In the 1920's', 'After 1920's', 'Eventually'). The logical flow between sentences is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing, such as 'and so the other sectors as well, but except the agriculture'. To reach a higher band, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the transition between different time periods is smoother and more precise.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic verbs like 'booming', 'got', and 'approached'. There are also some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'the manufacturing was dominating' instead of 'manufacturing was the dominant sector'. To improve, aim to use more academic collocations and precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained steady', or 'experienced a significant decline'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the manufacturing was dominating in the number of jobs' (incorrect article usage and preposition) and 'the agriculture is quite stable for last 6 decades' (missing article and incorrect tense). The use of articles ('the') is inconsistent throughout the text. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

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