Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The given line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, manufacturing job was highly demanded before experiencing deep in 1980. Agriculture had followed downward trend from starting and ended as a lowest opted job in year 2020. In contrast, retail and healthcare were increasing their demand throughout 40 years and ended at the maximum in year 2020.
Looking first at manufacturing, started with 15 millions job in year 1960 then increased to peak, with 20 millions in 1980. However, then faced decline and ended with approximately 12.5 millions jobs in year 2020. Agriculture embarked with nearly 6 millions jobs in year 1960 but then had gradual decrease and ended with lumpsum 3 millions job in year 2020.
Furthermore, Retail started with nearly 6 millions job in year 1960, Healthcare started with approximately 3 millions but both ended with nearly 16 millions in the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the rise of retail and healthcare and the decline of agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For example, the description of the manufacturing sector as having a 'deep' (likely meaning 'dip') in 1980 is inaccurate based on the data, which shows a peak rather than a decline at that point. Additionally, the overview is slightly disjointed. To reach a higher band, ensure that the data points cited are precise and that the overview clearly synthesizes the most significant trends rather than just listing them. The report is accurate enough to convey the main features but lacks the analytical depth required for a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The response is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In contrast', 'Looking first at', and 'Furthermore', which help guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and the flow between sentences is occasionally interrupted by grammatical errors. For instance, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors, which helps the overall structure. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that the logical progression between sentences is more natural.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends (e.g., 'increased', 'peak', 'gradual decrease'). However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and non-standard collocations, such as 'lumpsum 3 millions job' and 'lowest opted job'. The word 'deep' is used incorrectly to describe a trend, and there are minor issues with pluralization (e.g., '15 millions job'). While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is limited, and the errors in word choice prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on accurate collocations and more precise terminology for describing trends would be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include missing articles (e.g., 'in year 2020'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'manufacturing job was highly demanded'), and subject-verb agreement errors. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they are noticeable and occur frequently. The sentence structure is often repetitive, relying on similar patterns. To improve, the student should focus on mastering basic sentence construction, particularly the use of articles and pluralization, and attempt to incorporate more varied complex structures with greater accuracy.
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