Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different areas of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
It can be scrutinized from the information that initially manufacturing was the industry with the highest employment with 15 millions, whereas healtcare sector had comparatively low number of jobs which seemed to be surging by the 2020.
To begin with, the opportunity in both the domain of retail and agriculture started from just above 5 million. While retail showed the increase in 1980, and kept on surpassing till 2020, on the other hand agriculture saw the downfall making it the industry with the least number of jobs in 1980, 2000, and 2020.
Probing further, manufacturing sector was at a peak for providing jobs, following the trend through 1980. After 90's a slight decline was observed till it reached 2020. Further, healthcare has been seen as the booming industry so far.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for all four sectors. However, the overview is somewhat weak; while it mentions manufacturing and healthcare, it lacks a clear, synthesized summary of the overall shifts in the economy. The data reporting is generally accurate, but some figures are imprecise (e.g., '15 millions' instead of 15 million). The comparison between sectors is present, but could be more analytical to reach a higher band. The response addresses the prompt effectively, but the lack of a more comprehensive overview and some minor inaccuracies in data presentation limit the score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a clear progression of ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'While', and 'Probing further' are used to link sentences. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or forced. The referencing is generally clear, though the flow between the second and third body paragraphs could be smoother. Overall, the structure is coherent and easy to follow, meeting the requirements for a Band 6.5 or 7.0, but the use of cohesive devices lacks the flexibility required for higher bands.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends (e.g., 'surging', 'downfall', 'booming'). There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'scrutinized from the information' (which is unnatural) and '15 millions' (incorrect pluralization). The range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning, but it lacks the sophistication and precision needed for a higher band. The student uses some topic-specific terms, but these are not always used with complete accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'healtcare sector had comparatively low number' (missing article), 'surpassing till 2020' (unclear meaning), and 'After 90's' (incorrect punctuation/form). While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. The control of punctuation and articles is inconsistent throughout the text. The student demonstrates an attempt at complex structures, but the accuracy of these structures is not consistent.
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