Band 8.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 8.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 8.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs available in four sectors, manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare, in the US economy, measured in millions, from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is evident that retail and healthcare experienced an upward trend in employment, while manufacturing and agriculture showed a downward trend during the given timeframe.
In detail, employment in the manufacturing sector stood at 15 million in 1960, whereas employment in the retail and agriculture sectors each recorded 6 million, indicating a clear contrast between the sectors. Moreover, the number of jobs in the manufacturing sector increased to 20 million in 1980, before decreasing slightly to 17 million in 2000. This figure fell steadily to 14 million in 2020. Furthermore, the number of jobs in retail sector rose to 10 million in 1980 before increasing markedly to 15 million in 2000 and approximately 16 million in 2020. Employment in the agriculture sector decreased to 4 million in 1980, remained unchanged until 2000, before rising to approximately 3 million in 2020. Finally, the health care sector employed 5 million in 1980 before increasing to 11 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 8.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 8.0 |
| Overall | 8.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5
The response effectively addresses the task by identifying the main trends and providing relevant data points. You have successfully highlighted the contrasting movements between the sectors, such as the growth in retail and healthcare versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. The overview is clear and captures the essence of the data. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are accurate; for instance, you mentioned agriculture rose to 3 million in 2020, but the graph shows a decline or stagnation compared to earlier periods. Additionally, ensure that comparisons are made more explicitly throughout the body paragraphs to better highlight the relationships between the four sectors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 8.0
The response is logically organized, with a clear introduction, an overview, and detailed body paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices such as 'whereas', 'moreover', 'before', and 'furthermore' helps to guide the reader through the information. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the overview from the specific details. To improve, try to vary the cohesive devices further to avoid a slightly mechanical feel. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with 'the number of jobs', you could use referencing or nominalization to improve the flow and reduce repetition.
Lexical Resource — Band 7.5
You have used a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'upward trend', 'downward trend', 'increased markedly', and 'remained unchanged'. This allows for clear communication of the data. To achieve a higher score, incorporate more precise and sophisticated collocations. For example, instead of 'increased markedly', you could use 'experienced a sharp rise' or 'saw a significant surge'. Additionally, ensure that your word choices are always contextually accurate; for instance, 'recorded' is used well, but expanding your repertoire of reporting verbs would enhance the academic tone of the report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 8.0
The response demonstrates a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most sentences are error-free, and your control of tense is consistent with the requirements of a report on past data. There are no significant grammatical errors that impede communication. To push into the higher bands, aim for more complex sentence structures, such as using participle clauses (e.g., 'Starting at 15 million in 1960, the manufacturing sector...') or more varied subordinating conjunctions to link ideas more fluidly. Your current control is solid, but increasing the variety of your syntactic structures will demonstrate greater flexibility.
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