Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between the period of 1960 to 2020,

Overall, manufacturing was stand in 1960 at 15 million and increased significantly to the 20 million in 1980. After the period of 1980 the number of jobs were decreased in 2020 and reached at the 17 million in 2000 and continuously falling to 13 million in 2020. Retails jobs also rose steadily, from approximately 6 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020. Agriculture jobs were also rose steadily from approximately 3 million in 1960 and same rise as retail jobs to 16 million in 2020. The last and fourth number jobs are about healthcare. These jobs were decreased from 6 million in 1960 to regularly decreasing at 2 million by the period of 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in retail

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the score. While you have identified the four sectors and provided data points, the report is incomplete. The final sentence is cut off mid-thought, and there is no concluding summary or overview that synthesizes the trends effectively. To improve, ensure you provide a clear overview of the main trends (e.g., which sectors grew vs. declined) and ensure the response is fully developed and meets the length requirement. The data reporting is somewhat mechanical and lacks the comparative analysis required for a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the structure is disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and repetitive (e.g., 'also rose steadily'). The transition between the introduction and the body is abrupt, and the lack of a finished conclusion makes the overall progression unclear. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words such as 'in contrast,' 'meanwhile,' or 'subsequently' to connect your ideas more fluidly. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and that the information flows logically from one point to the next.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic verbs like 'increased,' 'decreased,' and 'rose.' There are also errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'manufacturing was stand' instead of 'manufacturing stood' and 'the last and fourth number jobs' which is awkward phrasing. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' 'remained stable,' or 'experienced a downward trend.' Focus on using more academic collocations rather than repeating the same simple verbs.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally hinder readability. Examples include 'the number of jobs were decreased' (subject-verb agreement error), 'reached at the 17 million' (incorrect preposition usage), and 'Agriculture jobs were also rose' (incorrect passive voice construction). The sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited attempts at complex sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions when describing data. Practice combining simple sentences into complex ones using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical control.

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