Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the employment levels of four different economic sectors

in United States between 1960 to 2020.Overall,it is the evident that greatest level or employment shown in retail and healthcare sector whereas least employment was in agriculture.

To begin with,in 1960 retail had approximately 6 millions jobs while healthcare had just 3 millions job in the job market of United states.But then there was a gradual increase and both was respectively stood at 15 millions and 11 millions in the year of 2000.Then this trend happpend again for the following years.In 2020,both sectors had approximately 16 millions employment which was a equal quantity of employment for retail and healthcare.

Furthermore , in 1960 manufacturing had 15 millions of jobs which increased in 1980 and stood at 20 millions,but then the quantity of jobs gradually decreased for the following years until 2020 and in 2020, there was approximately 13 millions of jobs in this sector.

In addition,In 1960 agriculture had just over the 5 millions jobs but this proportion was marginally declined and in 1980 this proportion was just 4 millions.Moreover,between 1980 to 2000 the level of jobs remainied stable but there was a steady decrease from 2000 to 2020,which shown just 3 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You have successfully identified the main features, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the overview is slightly weak; it could be more precise by mentioning the overall shift in the economy rather than just stating which sectors had the highest or lowest numbers. The data points are generally accurate, though there are minor inconsistencies in the reporting of figures (e.g., '15 millions' instead of '15 million'). Overall, the response fulfills the requirements of the task well.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with each sector discussed in its own section. You use some cohesive devices like 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'In addition' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel repetitive. The referencing is generally clear, but the paragraphing could be improved by grouping the sectors that show similar trends (e.g., the growing sectors vs. the declining ones) to create a more cohesive narrative rather than just listing them sector by sector.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'economic sectors', 'employment levels', and 'gradual increase'. However, there are several errors in word choice and form, such as '15 millions' (should be '15 million') and 'proportion was marginally declined' (should be 'proportion declined marginally'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the score. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations and ensure that pluralization and word forms are used correctly in a statistical context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and article usage (e.g., 'in United States', 'both was respectively stood', 'this trend happpend'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. While you attempt complex sentences, they often contain errors that distract the reader. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy and proofreading for small errors would significantly improve your score.

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