Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 7.0)

The line graph illustrates the employment levels of four different economic sectors

in United States between 1960 to 2020.Overall,it is the evident that greatest level or employment shown in retail and healthcare sector whereas least employment was in agriculture.

To begin with,in 1960 retail had approximately 6 millions jobs while healthcare had just 3 millions job in the job market of United states.But then there was a gradual increase and both was respectively stood at 15 millions and 11 millions in the year of 2000.Then this trend happpend again for the following years.In 2020,both sectors had approximately 16 millions employment which was a equal quantity of employment for retail and healthcare.

Furthermore , in 1960 manufacturing had 15 millions of jobs which increased in 1980 and stood at 20 millions,but then the quantity of jobs gradually decreased for the following years until 2020 and in 2020, there was approximately 13 millions of jobs in this sector.

In addition,In 1960 agriculture had just over the 5 millions jobs but this proportion was marginally declined and in 1980 this proportion was just 4 millions.Moreover,between 1980 to 2000 the level of jobs remainied stable but there was a steady decrease from 2000 to 2020,which shown just 3 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You have successfully identified the main features, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the overview is slightly weak; it could be improved by mentioning the overall shift in the economy rather than just listing the highest and lowest sectors. The data is generally accurate, though some figures are slightly imprecise. To reach a higher band, ensure that the comparison between sectors is more analytical rather than just descriptive.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with each sector or group of sectors receiving its own section. You use some cohesive devices like 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'In addition' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and there are minor issues with punctuation and spacing (e.g., 'Furthermore ,'). The progression of ideas is clear, but the flow between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring correct punctuation around them would enhance the coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'economic sectors', 'employment levels', and 'gradual increase'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'both was respectively stood at' and 'this proportion was marginally declined'. These errors do not impede communication but show a lack of precision. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated collocations and ensuring that verbs are used correctly in their passive or active forms. Spelling is generally accurate, but watch for minor slips like 'happpend'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('both was respectively stood at') and article usage ('in United States'). There are also issues with tense consistency and unnecessary word repetition. While these errors rarely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and refining the use of articles and verb tenses will significantly improve your score.

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